Caregiving has many faces. Family caregivers range from the parents of children with special needs, to the families and friends of wounded soldiers; from a young couple dealing with a diagnosis of MS, to adult children caring for parents with Alzheimer’s disease. But despite considerable gains in public visibility of family caregivers, many continue to experience stigma, and struggle to maintain their own health and well-being.
Caregiving is a national phenomenon. It will only increase in prominence in the future. The population of 35 million elders will double by 2030. So the number of people who need eldercare will continue to grow rapidly as the population ages. The number of adult children caring for a parent has tripled over just the past 15 years.
Find Strength in Numbers
If you are a family caregiver yourself, the fact is you are not alone. Look around – statistically, two out of every five adult Americans are family caregivers – that’s tens of millions of family caregivers across the country. You probably know someone who is caring for an elderly mother with Alzheimer’s, or a child with autism, or a partner with cancer. You have strength in numbers and help is never far away. Even caregivers of those with rare diseases can find connectedness: An estimated 350 million people worldwide suffer from rare diseases – including 30 million in the U.S. and another 30 million in Europe.
It’s never too early to begin a conversation with your friends or other caregivers. Exchange ideas on caregiving and use your friends and fellow caregivers to create a support system. Talk openly with your friends about your caregiving challenges. You will probably find that they can sympathize or know someone else in your situation – and they may even be caring for someone, too! Nearly everyone will be a caregiver at some point in his or her life. It’s nearly as certain as death and taxes.
Recognize the Burden
Caregivers endure stress caring for their loved ones. Feelings of shame about certain illnesses contribute to caregiver burden, and negatively impact caregiver functioning and wellness. This is compounded as both the ill person and the caregiver experience the stigma. Some caregivers may face discrimination, frequently at work. Others may experience social exclusion. Often stigma is strongly associated with negative stereotypes of older people and characteristics of chronic illnesses. This reinforces the importance of support for caregivers.
Data show that there are significant costs of caregiving. For instance, those who work while fulfilling their family caregiving responsibilities have a higher incidence of major health conditions (such as depression, hypertension, and diabetes) than non-caregivers – directly as a result of the stress from their caregiving challenges. And ignoring their own health (sleeping, eating, exercising, visiting a doctor) further undermines caregivers’ health. Caregiver stress can erode the immune system and actually increase susceptibility to illness.
Caregiving can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. Many family caregivers feel overwhelmed, and experience feelings of anger, depression, and guilt. All these feelings are normal. And for many people caregiving can ultimately be one of the most rewarding experiences of their lives! To be successful, support from friends and family is needed.
The journey to caregiving sometimes starts slowly – when a spouse is diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease), or a child develops a mental illness. Maybe it happens all of a sudden – when a child is born with Tay-Sachs or a parent has a stroke. However it began, there are millions of caregivers facing challenges and needing support.
Help is the most important step, but admittedly it is not always easy. The very symptoms of depression, such as lethargy and hopelessness, can rob one of the will to seek help. Embarrassed by the stigma of depression, and simply denying that anything is wrong, the caregiver may retreat into isolation. These can all keep one from taking that most important first step – offering, and accepting, help.
John Schall is CEO of the non-profit Caregiver Action Network (CAN). Based in Washington, DC, CAN works tirelessly to advance resourcefulness and respect for family caregivers across the country. CAN’s free educational resources assist in learning to develop effective caregiving coping skills. CAN has tips and tools that can help caregivers avoid burnout and stay healthy themselves while caring for their loved ones.
CAN recommends that caregivers:
- – Seek support from family and friends.
- – Accept offers of help and suggest specific things people can do to help.
- – Learn how to communicate effectively with doctors.
- – Take respite breaks often.
- – Watch out for signs of depression and don’t delay in getting professional help when they need it.
Connecting caregivers to one another is also vitally important because caregivers need to know that they are not alone. CAN maintains the Family Caregiver Forum so caregivers can connect and help each other. This online forum is a safe place where any caregiver can ask a question of others dealing with similar circumstances and get thoughtful and helpful responses.
So if you need help managing any of the many challenges that come from caregiving – such as isolation, feelings of anger or depression, or communicating with doctors – feel free to check out CAN’s free resources at CaregiverAction.org. And if you are a patient who relies on a family member for help, do them a favor and send them to CAN’s resources because they need someone to lean on, too!